Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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