There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
