im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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