so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
nutella sex= disaster
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
