Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
