sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Still dying that you shit outside
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
pray to the hookup gods
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
