my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
