last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
