Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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