It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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