My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
