Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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