Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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