but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
