when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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