I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize