I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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