we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
