Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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