...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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