After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
