dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
