You smell like stripper and shame
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
