You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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