Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
