I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
True strength comes from lack of pants
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm bleeding and have questions
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
