Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
