i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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