sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
