she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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