How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
