You made me cry and you don't even care
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This toilet bowl is my home.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
