considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
