Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
