my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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