Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
