I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When are your genitals available?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
