Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
