if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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