i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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