i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
