I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
