There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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