We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
