I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
