I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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