I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
