Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
