Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
