wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
