well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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