I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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